Dad asks if refusing to walk daughter down the aisle with her stepdad is unreasonable

It's traditional for the father of the bride to walk their daughter down the aisle on their big day. While the practice is a bit dated, and tied to the age of the dowry, it still plays a part in many weddings. One of those brides who wanted to be walked down the aisle is Reddit user anonymous150000's daughter.

But as the Redditor explained in a post, his daughter wanted to walk down the aisle with both her biological father and her stepfather. Anonymous150000 explains that he and his daughter's mother divorced when she was young, and her stepfather played a big part in her life.

The person took to Reddit to explain why he doesn't want to walk down the aisle with his daughter's stepfather, and ask if he was unreasonable for saying so.

The post reads:

"My wife and I divorced when my daughter was 6 years old, and my wife had custody of my daughter for the most part since I was too busy working 50 hours a week, she quickly moved on to be with another man 7 years younger than her."

"I knew from many stories I've heard that my daughter would probably end up being closer to him than me, since not only was our time together very limited but he was a stay at home dad, which means they had plenty of time to bond together which makes me feel sick to this day."

"This may sound immature but I made her promise to never ever call her stepdad(dad), that I was her only father and to not betray me. But I have no control over what she or they do in their home. Fast forward to now my prediction came through and she's obviously closer to her step dad than me."

"She has gotten engaged about a year ago and now that the wedding is approaching near(1 month or so) she's now out of the blue told me that she wants both me and her stepdad to walk her down the aisle after promising me I would be the one to do it."  

"Even though I know they're very close, I don't believe he has any right to walk my blood daugther down the aisle. I am her only father, it isn't fair that he got to be with my daugther more than me, her bio dad, and now he wants to take this moment from me too."

The Redditor explained his response: 

"I got a bit angry and told her I absolutely will not share an honor that is meant for me the actual father of the bride with some guy I barely know. She told me he's done a lot for her growing up and that I'm being petty over something that happened years ago." 

"I told her I wasn't going to argue about it and if she wants her stepdad to walk her she can, but I won't be there to see it."

"I was told by a friend of mine who uses this site quite often that many people have gone through something similar to this with their kids or parents, so I wanted to see other people's perspective, on if it's wrong for me to want to be the only one to walk my only daughter down the aisle."

Unsurprisingly, people seemed to think that the father was being unreasonable. 

One user wrote: "How bout instead of being an a*****e, this guy should be happy that the step-father was awesome enough for your daughter to be considered like a second dad for her, especially when bio-dad can’t be there because of work commitments. Plenty of kids in divorced situations end up with shitty step parents who don’t care for the kids."

While another added: "You made a 6 year old child promise something that you've been manipulating her with and 'reminding' her about through her life."

Another commenter concluded: "The only person to blame for you not spending more time with your daughter is YOU. You chose work over your daughter."

"It's not surprising she has grown to love someone that has pretty much helped to raise her and has been there for her, and it's unfair of you to expect to be HER number 1, when you didn't make her YOUR number 1."

"She wants you at her wedding. It's HER day. Nothing to do with you. She wants BOTH her fathers there to walk her down the aisle. Suck it up, show your daughter that what she wants means more for that one day than what you want, and be happy for her."

"If you don't go, I imagine it will possibly put a wedge in your relationship that may not be able to be fixed."

This article was originally published on September 18, 2019. It has since been updated.