Mom posts powerful note to stranger at Target who shamed her for 'spoiling' her baby

Kelly Dirkes was holding her baby in a carrier at a local Target when a woman stopped her and made a snide comment. The stranger told Dirkes she would “spoil that baby" by carrying her and the child would “never learn to be independent."

Dirkes, a mother who has adopted two children with Down syndrome, kissed her baby on the head, smiled at the stranger, and continued shopping.

Later, Dirkes decided to write an open letter to the nosy woman, telling her about her child's strength in the face of unbelievable circumstances. 

The letter describes how her baby was neglected in a sterile nursery as an infant, but learned to trust her adoptive parents and depend on them for love and support. 

Since originally being posted, it has been shared over 31,000 times.

Here's the full letter:

"Dear Woman in Target-

I've heard it before, you know. That I "spoil that baby". You were convinced that she'd never learn to be "independent". I smiled at you, kissed her head, and continued my shopping."

"If you only knew what I know."

"If you only knew how she spent the first ten months of her life utterly alone inside a sterile metal crib, with nothing to comfort her other than sucking her fingers."

"If you only knew what her face looked like the moment her orphanage caregiver handed her to me to cradle for the very first time--fleeting moments of serenity commingled with sheer terror. No one had ever held her that way before, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do."

"If you only knew that she would lay in her crib after waking and never cry--because up until now, no one would respond."

"If you only knew that anxiety was a standard part of her day, along with banging her head on her crib rails and rocking herself for sensory input and comfort."

"If you only knew that that baby in the carrier is heartbreakingly 'independent' --and how we will spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years trying to override the part of her brain that screams 'trauma' and 'not safe.'"

"If you only knew what I know."

"If you only knew that that baby now whimpers when she's put down instead of when she is picked up."

"If you only knew that that baby "sings" at the top of her lungs in the mornings and after her nap, because she knows that her chatter will bring someone to lift her out of her crib and change her diaper."

"If you only knew that that baby rocks to sleep in her Mama's or her Papa's arms instead of rocking herself."

"If you only knew that that baby made everyone cry the day she reached out for comfort, totally unprompted."

"If you only knew what I know."

"'Spoiling that baby' is the most important job I will ever have, and it is a privilege. I will carry her for a little while longer--or as long as she'll let me--because she is learning that she is safe. That she belongs. That she is loved."

"If you only knew..."

Commenters overwhelmingly supported her, with one user writing, "May your girls never ever know a time when you or Kyle cannot hold them. May the zillion hugs and loves and kisses permanently erase the months of trauma they experienced and help them to become just like you. May they one day be the ones to reach out to those without mamas and be the light that shine so bright. YOU ARE MY EXAMPLE OF WHAT BEING A MOM IS. DON'T YOU DARE LET ANYONE TELL YOI THAT YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. I am so proud of you and Kyle and your family."

Amy B. chimed in: "Umm I carried Alina in our carrier for the first year she was home and she came home at 19 months! Trust me she is spoiled but only because of her previous lif in the orphanage! But that is my choice! People need to ZIP IT! You are amazing to me all you have been through with all your girls and you can be kind! She looks so peaceful so close to her mama heart!"

This article was originally published September 21, 2019. It has since been updated.