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Women sleep better next to dogs than men, according to study

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July 7 2020, Updated 10:35 a.m. ET

The idea of cuddling up with a snuggly pupper and taking a snooze probably sounds good to a lot of people reading this right now, and as it turns out, there's a scientific reason behind why we might love this so much, especially women.

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Personally, as nice as cuddling is, I become a hot and sweaty mess after a few minutes of a hugging session in bed. It's not a pretty or comfortable site and as much as I love dogs, that extends to them as well.

The idea of an animal licking my face in the middle of the night also creeps me out, too. I mean, what if I'm having a sensual dream and find myself in an early '90s comedy scenario where I think I'm getting my face licked by a bodacious babe and it turns out it's just a golden retriever slobbering all over me? Is it hilarious? Of course. Disgusting? Yes — I feel bad for any creature that has to smell my breath that early in the morning.

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But that might just have to do with the fact that I'm a dude. If I were a woman, this study suggests not only would I love sharing a bed with a dog, but I'd also get a much better night's sleep next to said pupper than I would with a dude.

The research breaks down all the different ways a woman's quality of slumber is markedly better when she has a canine snooze companion over a regular old homo sapiens male.

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The number one benefit is security.

Sleeping in an empty house or bed, especially when you're used to living with a lot of people, can be pretty scary late at night. Every noise, creak, or scratch outdoors will make you jump out of your bed and fear the worst. So sometimes it's nice to know someone who cares about you is nearby. However, the 962 adult women surveyed in the research group reported that they felt way more secure sleeping next to a puppy than a dude.

I feel like this has a lot more to do with our general distrust of the opposite sex, even in a committed relationship, than it does about dogs. But security is just one aspect of why women get better sleep with canines.

As it turns out, they found their canine counterparts way less "disruptive." That's probably true, dogs won't spoon you in the middle of the night in the hopes of some spur of the moment hanky-panky. Or hog the blanket. 

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Cats, on the other hand were found to be just as "disruptive" as human beings, but that's hardly their fault. Felines are more nocturnal creatures and are biologically suited to hunt at night. It's much more common for your cat to be running around the house at odd hours of the night, hunting imaginary birds or rabbits. Your dog will more often than not just want to cuddle up with you and get some shut-eye.

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Dr. Christy L. Hoffman, who conducted the study, said people should take some of the results with a grain of salt and that the results of their surveys are, for the most part, deeply rooted in individual perception. So before you go and get a dog to cure your insomnia, you should hear her out.

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"[The] keyword here is perception, this [study is based on] individuals self-reporting how they feel their sleep is affected' and it's 'important to note that this is based on aggregated data and an average of responses, so getting a dog won't solve everyone's sleep problems."

Dr. Hoffman plans to conduct a future study on how well men sleep with dogs. My question is, what happens if men also sleep better with pups? What's gonna end up happening? We gonna go back to the '50s like it's Pleasantville, where we're all sleeping in separate beds at the end of the night?

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I don't know if I'm OK with that. Besides, what'll end up happening is that both dogs will probably just end up jumping into bed with my wife, because who wants to share a blanket and sheets with my sweaty, over-heating self?

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