Trans sister-in-law blows up on mom-to-be after being told she can't watch her give birth

A mom-to-be was caught in a serious conundrum with her husband's family after a discussion of her birthing plans went awry.

I'll never know what it's like to push a baby out of my body after carrying it for 40 or so weeks, and I'm completely fine with that. And as much as I sympathized with my wife during her pregnancy and the delivery process, along with the agonizing, sleep-deprived recovery period, I still can't fully understand what she went through.

Which is why I found it best to just shut up and focus on making life as comfortable for her as possible during her pregnancies, especially as we neared the big day. I kept the status of her delivery under wraps unless she gave "knowledge clearance" to certain friends and family members. 

Above all, it was paramount for her to have her mom present while she was in labor. For our first, my mom would check in as well every once in a while. 

When our second was born, my mother stayed home with our son.  

There were never any squabbles or fights, at least that I know of, as to who was "allowed" in the room with my wife and I while she was delivering. It was just her mother and I for the most part, which is exactly how my SO wanted it. As far as I'm concerned she's the one doing all the heavy lifting, so she could decide to kick all of our a--es out and have Amy Poehler and Tina Fey in there with her if that's what she wanted. 

A woman on Reddit's AITA sub, unfortunately, has some close family members who don't exactly feel the same way that I and many other people do. She wants to know if she's in the wrong for forbidding her transgender sister-in-law for being present during the birth of her child. 

She openly discussed her very particular birthing plans with her friends and family, which, in hindsight, may have been a mistake.

OP wanted to have an unassisted delivery at home, which is conveniently located right near a hospital in case there were any serious complications she couldn't handle otherwise. She also wanted her two sisters and her husband to be present during the pregnancy for support.

However, things took a turn for the awkward once her sister-in-law, who is a trans woman, got the idea that she would be present for the delivery. 

The expecting mother "calmly" explained that she didn't want her SIL to be present at the birthing as she only wanted a few close people, and her husband's sister didn't take the news too kindly. She accused OP of "taking away her womanhood and depriving her of her only chance of experiencing this expression of femininity," probably forgetting that the birth of this woman's child is more about her than, you know, anyone else's feelings. 

The issue grew from being a "hey I only want certain people here at the birth of my child" to "hey this expectant mother is super transphobic." As a result, she received a slew of different messages, texts, and emails from members of the trans community who, upon being told what happened, piled on the hatred in a display of modern day selective e-outrage. 

The mom-to-be wanted to know if she should feel guilty about not allowing her SIL in the delivery room and wrote that while she understands that "transpeople have a pretty s----- deal in life", she just wanted to have an intimate birthing experience. 

Throngs of people on Reddit rushed to say that she was in no way at fault, and that the way the SIL reacted says more about her than it did the mom-to-be. 

What do you think? Did OP's sister-in-law have reason to be upset? Or was she blowing the entire situation out of proportion and playing the victim to turn the issue into an anti-trans statement on behalf of the expecting mother, when that wasn't the case at all? 

Editor's Note: The article was originally published in February 2020. It has since been updated.