Shower wars: Why your partner loves boiling water and you don’t
By Greg SullivanSept. 12 2024, Published 11:38 a.m. ET
The humorous divide between men and women over shower temperature preferences has taken over social media. Many men joke about how their partners seem to enjoy boiling themselves under scorching water, while they prefer much cooler showers. One TikTok couple, Micah and Sarah—who share their experiences as @micahandsarah—brought this conversation to the forefront when Micah shared a funny but relatable video highlighting why they can’t shower together.
"Boiling a turkey" versus a cool shower
In the viral TikTok video, Micah takes viewers into their bathroom to showcase their shower setup. He cranks the temperature handle to the hottest setting, joking, “This is why my wife and I can't shower together. This is boiling hot, the hottest it can go.” He dramatically adds, “Thirty-degree burns and this is where she’s comfortable. Her temperature, boiling a turkey." Micah’s playful take on the couple’s shower temperature dispute resonated with millions, gaining over 26 million views.
But Micah isn’t alone in this. Countless men commented, echoing his struggle, including one who joked, "My girl literally showers with lava. It is some sort of superpower."
A medical explanation for the temperature divide
Micah’s viral video caught the attention of a London-based medic, Dr. Sermed Mezher, who decided to shed light on this hot topic—pun intended. Posting under @drsermedmezher on Instagram, the doctor explained why many women prefer significantly hotter showers than men.
“Women naturally have a fractionally higher core body temperature compared to men,” Dr. Mezher explains, adding that this difference helps keep inner organs warm but can make women more sensitive to cold. This sensitivity can peak during different stages of their menstrual cycle, specifically when they’re ovulating or nearing the end of their cycle.
The hormone estrogen, which plays a major role in the female reproductive system, is key here. “Estrogen can affect blood flow, making it more difficult for blood to reach extremities like the hands and feet,” Dr. Mezher explained in his video. This phenomenon makes women’s hands and feet an average of three degrees colder than men’s.
Why do women's showers get hotter?
Dr. Mezher's insights continue, explaining that women are also five times more likely to suffer from Raynaud’s phenomenon, which causes spasms in the blood vessels, particularly in colder conditions. Even without this condition, estrogen naturally thickens blood and restricts its flow to extremities, leaving women more likely to feel cold in their hands and feet.
This explains why women crave those boiling hot showers, seeking warmth and comfort that their male partners just don’t seem to need. While men tend to run warmer, they prefer cooler water temperatures, making a joint shower nearly impossible for couples like Micah and Sarah.
The hilarious responses from TikTok users
As expected, the comments on both Micah’s and Dr. Mezher’s videos were flooded with people sharing their own experiences and adding to the fun. One user, @arcania.aesthetics, shared, “Lukewarm water is best for me. I don't want to walk out of the shower feeling half-cooked.” Another, @white_panda7, had an unexpected take, saying, “I tend to take a shower in boiling hot water more so than my wife. I look like a cooked shellfish when I get out."
These humorous responses highlight how universal this issue seems to be, sparking conversations across social media platforms about the surprising divide between men and women when it comes to shower temperature.
The next time you and your partner argue about the shower settings, remember there’s a scientific reason for it—and maybe invest in a second bathroom!