Guy whined that he was single because women prefer 'losers' and Twitter went off

What do women want in a partner in 2019? Personally, I want someone who supports me, loves me for who I am, and maybe brings a little humor to my day. Luckily, there's a man just for me.

One Twitter user went viral for his rant against women who don’t find him relationship material. The twist? He keeps mentioning beef. Yes, beef. His outdated views on relationships are overshadowed by his annual beef haul, making it the main topic of conversation. Confused? Just read on:

His housing is paid for. He makes a good salary. He has health insurance, a 401k, a degree, and a couple hundred acres. Still not convinced? Well, he also brings in 700 pounds of beef a year. What woman could say no to nearly half a ton of beef? Most losers have five to ten pounds of beef per year, tops. And women prefer them? What's their problem?  

Obviously, this tweet went completely viral. Almost 1,000 retweets. Over 12,000 likes. Countless snarky replies. It's absurd. His handle is @vickers_stephen, but his username is Dangerously Beefy. How is someone with the name Dangerously Beefy still single? It's a mystery.  

DB (his nickname that I just made up) added a tweet to his thread explaining exactly where he was coming from because people weren't really getting it. "Before this goes viral and gets out of hand," he wrote, "I [100 emoji] believe that teamwork makes the dream work. I'm not looking to hold anyone down, only build them up." 

Reading his follow-up tweet, I realized DB was completely serious. His first tweet wasn’t a joke. He genuinely thought talking about his beef and lamenting women’s lack of interest would attract them. The logic... it’s missing! But the responses? Priceless (and a cut above, if you catch my drift).

Maybe if he explained how he plans to distribute the beef, more women would be interested. No woman I know wants to deal with hundreds of pounds of beef all at once. A schedule might help.

Of course, some took DB's whining a little more seriously and offered a serious response to his clearly genuine frustration. "Women aren't looking for a 'provider' anymore," one Twitter user wrote. "We are looking for a partner / teammate. We have degrees, job with benefits, housing, etc. [read: our own beef]. We can provide for ourselves so we want to be with someone that loves, encourages, and pushes us. We don't need to be rescued or provided for."

This is all very true, but honestly, I don't know what this person thinks they are going to teach a guy named Dangerously Beefy who thinks that the more beef a person has, the more desirable they are.  

Honestly, what more should a woman want in a partner? Deep conversation? Emotional intelligence? A sense of humor? No. The massive amount of beef should be enough. With any luck, you'll eat so much steak you'll die of a heart attack without actually having to talk to the guy. 

One Twitter user wrote, "I always ask someone how many pounds of beef they have before dating them. That's how I ended up married to someone who gets 80,000 pounds of beef a year. Compatibility means nothing if you can just build a smelly wall of meat between you and him." Truer words have never been typed into the cybersphere.

You don’t log onto Twitter expecting your day to be dominated by beef discourse, but here we are. I hope DB realizes women are people, not beef vessels, and finds the filet to his New York Strip.

This article was originally published November 7th, 2019 and has been updated.